godsspeed | Snowblind IC Inbox

hey
uh
fuck
however you spell your name
ca$h money
sup
i got my memory back
so first off if you want to ask more stuff about norfinbury i can dish out what info i have
but second sorry for being kind of irreverent about stuff
i mean irreverent is kind of my deal anyway but now i actually know my universe was made by alien teenagers and not an all powerful god
but i know other universes dont work the same too
like im pretty sure house is literally the devil
might want to do something about that

ps call me davesprite
dave strider was my name but i dont call myself that anymore for reasons i couldnt remember at the time

There are many possible spellings of my name, but the most common is Castiel.

I am glad your memory has returned. Do not concern yourself over your impiety. I'm used to it. [ He's not sure what to do about that comment about the aliens, though. For lack of a better idea, he falls back on the Heavenly standby. ] God is present in all universes. He is simply more subtle in His actions regarding some than others.

And yes, he has told me. I'm skeptical, but it is a possibility that I plan to address.

Do these symbols have any specific meaning to you?

[ Castiel attaches a photo of the symbols painted in blood on the walls of the once-sealed room in building 237. The image is slightly blurry and Ecks's shoulder is in the frame, but it should be clear enough to see. ]

[Wow, that is a lot to address. Davesprite looks it over and considers, but ultimately the desire to be helpful wins out.]

ok if you want to talk theology or houses claims to satanhood we can go into that more later
for now lets talk symbols
so you know how we were talking about prophets before
norfinbury had its own prophet
this kid called samantha stevens
theres some files in public data that show her but we arent sure how she got selected as prophet or why
theres some people in one saying how she saw something but saw what is hard to say
like we know she went blind from seeing these nukes hit the city but there were other people around when that happened too
anyway those eyes are associated with the cult that sprouted up around her
weve seen them a lot by now in different contexts
painted on walls showing up during static or replacing peoples eyes a couple times
theres a tablet app that has something to do with them too
ask ecks about it if you havent
and that figure painted on the wall there is like
a cultist i guess?
we saw people in those cloaks in this weird memory vision thing we got a while back
which was of a bunch of cultists killing the original version of winter

Ecks is working on obtaining the app now.

Some of the others have mentioned the cult to me before. I did not know this prophet was at its center.

[ This could potentially shed some light on things. Many gods are very picky about the kinds of people through which they channel their voice - seeing this Samantha Stevens for himself might serve to indicate if there truly is a deity below the town, demanding tribute. Or it might tell him nothing at all, but it's worth looking. ]

How do I access the files in public data? Do you know why they killed Winter?

there should be an app for it on your tablet already
and apparently the cult had a thing against robots
winter and andromeda were both ais stuck in robot bodies that looked super human apart from the glowy eyes
like the first time peoples eyes went weird about half of us got eyes like the prophets symbol and the other half got glowy eyes like andromeda
and the people with the prophet eye tried to kill the ones with the glowing eyes
it all reset in the morning like it never happened but
still fucking sucked
theres some files in there house and i found that have her and winter talking about it

[OOC: The page for stuff is here, and this should be on it too but it looks like it got missed by accident when the mods were adding new things. I've let them know about missing it.]

If her blindness involved destruction caused by mankind's newer tools of war, her followers may have taken the visions as an indictment of all technology. It has happened before. Such are the hazards of speaking through prophets.

Thank you. I will view this app. [ Do you view an app? He isn't sure. ]

maybe
im not sure about the timeline on it yknow
or what else was going on with their ideology
feel free to ask if you have any more questions btw
being a guide is basically my whole purpose
plus this place is fucking complicated

[When the video starts, it's just Claire, alone in some random house. She's only been alone for a day or so, but it's already hitting her pretty hard. She got used to Stephen's presence - it was reassuring.

But instead of going to Stephen's inbox, she does the only thing she can think of.]

Hi, Castiel. This might sound like a strange request, but... Would you pray with me?

Hello, Claire. And that... Is strange, yes. But not bad. I just am not sure I would know how - this isn't the end of the process I'm used to being on.

[ And prayers vary so much, and he has heard so many. The rosary he saw her carrying before only narrows it down so much. Catholicism may be a newer movement than many of the others founded by those faithful to his Father, but it is vast in the number of people it has reached, and humankind creates and forgets and creates again so quickly that time ultimately means very little. ]

How do you pray, Claire?

Yeah, see, I wasn't sure how - how you communicate with Him, when you're down here on Earth.

[She takes a moment, composing herself, biting the inside of her lip as she tries to find the words she wants to use to explain it. It could be an easy one, she could just explain the usual - the Hail Mary's and the Our Fathers' and the Glory Be's. But it wouldn't really explain how she prays.]

I do follow the rosary template, but... I also like to just. Talk to Him. Is that wrong? Church was very strict on prayers, but for myself, I've always been a little more creative with them. I thought maybe He'd be more interested in hearing about life than just the same litanies.

Intent matters more than the words used. Many of the structures began as someone "just talking" a long time ago. All are heard and appreciated, if not answered.

[ His tone is apologetic, and possibly a little bit melancholy as well. There was a time when Heaven used to intervene - not often, but regularly, to save the deserving and punish the wicked. It wasn't a better time, necessarily, but it was simpler, and had felt much more like doing God's work than ignoring all the prayers that billowed up from below. Why else would He have made His angels able to hear any plea or message made out to them?

He hesitates, then adds; ]

I think it's... good. To speak for the sake of speaking, not obligation or need.

I can't say that He's talked back to me, that's for sure.

[And why would he? She's never done anything to grant His attention; she's barely an example of a good Christian girl, after all. She might be doing something good with her life, but it's not like she's followed His principles as much as her mother wanted her to.]

Do you know if He hears us anyway? Even when it feels like we're praying to no one, sometimes?

[ Castiel hesitates slightly. Some time ago the answer would have been 'yes, of course' with no second thought given, but now he isn't so sure. It eats away at him - to have doubt is one of the greatest crimes an angel can commit, but what Anna and Uriel had to say about their Father's long silence and whether Michael and Raphael were truly speaking for Him stick in his mind. ]

No. I don't know, not for sure. It is... not often that he speaks to us, either. [ This isn't something he should be saying. Revealing the workings of Heaven isn't forbidden exactly, but only because it simply isn't done, not without good reason. It is true, though, and it's never been in Castiel's nature to lie - though perhaps his motivations for sharing this much are a little selfish. From her questions, it seems like Claire may well come very close to understanding what he's going through. It's not fair to burden a human with reaffirming an angel's faith, but in the moment he can't help himself. ]

But... all angels can hear prayers, if we listen for them. I can't imagine there's anything we can do that he can't.

[John feels compelled to message Castiel directly after hanging up on Dorian. Maybe the angel isn't paying attention to that conversation, but if he is, John wants to be clear.]

Castiel, I just want you to know, for the record, you're not an abomination, whatever that Pavus bloke says, you have every right to exist here, just the same as anyone else, whatever you are and however you came into body you're sharing.

Yes. I have been watching, though I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea for me to intervene.

[ There's a slight hesitation before he sends the rest of his response. He isn't sure how much of this he wants to admit, but it's weighing on him too heavily to keep entirely to himself. ]

I appreciate you trying to defend me, but he is right in many ways. I've done much to wrong the man whose body I currently inhabit, all in the service of a greater good that I'm not sure was either of those things to begin with.

[... oh. Well, but that proves it! That just proves John's point that Castiel does have a conscience, and he's thinking about these things. The doctor feels mildly vindicated.]

Right in many ways doesn't mean completely right, and not where it matters. The man whose body you're inhabiting. It was something voluntary, right? He invited you in. Is he still there in your thoughts?

Yes. Angels can only take mortal vessels with their explicit and continuous consent. He could have cast me out at any time, if he didn't wish to continue to serve. And normally I would be able to rescind control to him and become a passive observer, but for some reason I am unable to do so in this place.

He is here and aware of his surroundings, though not as acutely as he would be if he were by himself. An angel's senses are different from a human's, even as dulled as mine are here. Most have trouble processing the way we experience creation.

[Further vindication! Sort of. Maybe. John's hearing what he wants to hear in this conversation, probably, more-so than the real implications of what Castiel is saying.]

Have you ever heard of any angel outstaying their welcome in a human host? What happens if a human decides they don't want you anymore? Do they just cast you out? Just like that?

If a vessel rescinds their consent then the angel inhabiting them must return control and leave immediately. It is impossible for us to stay when we are not wanted. This sort of rejection has been known to happen, but it's rare. We don't intervene in this way often, and when we do we choose our allies carefully.

[ From among the desperate and the destitute, in the case of some angels. People who have nothing to live for but this one act of service. Others convince their vessels once and then never allow them out of situations where parting ways would not mean being stranded or left for dead for the duration of the mission. It's a practice that Castiel found distasteful, but he had always been able to overlook it in his conviction that it served a higher purpose. That these people would receive what they were due and more in exchange for their sacrifice.

Again, now he's not so sure. ]

[That's comforting. It's a little bit of trouble that Castiel can't relinquish control right now, but knowing that under normal circumstances, the man he's possessing could take the wheel at any time he so chose to... that's good. That's all right. It's more all right than the alternative and what Dorian had been describing.]

Okay. That sounds reasonable. I'm glad that's the way it normally works. Thanks for telling me all of this, by the way. I know you might feel guilty about the current situation, but it's not one you chose or the man you're possessing. You guys didn't make the decision here. Keep that in mind if Dorian's ever bothering you, all right?

Thank you. I appreciate the intent behind your coming here and speaking to me about this, even if I'm not so sure that I agree that I'm justified in doing this anymore.

You are right, though. There is nothing I can do about it now, other than continue working to get everyone out of here safely. Including my vessel.

Right. And you can sort out the details with him once that's possible. Good luck Castiel, and let me know if you need anything.

[It's somewhere around midday that something of dire importance occurs to Davesprite.]

yo cas
got a question
did you or did you not sing jesus take the wheel while we were in cult jail

My memories of that time are unclear. I don't recognize the name of the song, but it is possible.

[Davesprite sighs, swaps over to audio, and hums a good chunk of "Jesus, Take the Wheel" for Castiel. He has a lot of regrets.]

Edited (punctuation) 2017-08-04 02:46 (UTC)

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