Snowblind IC Inbox

[godsspeed]

@whatisthis

This device is meant to be a means of long-distance communication. It seems remarkably impractical.

Regardless, if you leave me a 'message' I will do my best to respond.

Comments

[mrcreamsicles]

really
you go through that and the most you feel is slightly disoriented

[Don't mind him dodging the question.]

[godsspeed]

Durability is an important trait for a soldier of Heaven to have.

[ A pause, then he adds; ]

The worst part was forgetting things.
Things about what I am.
That's never happened before. It was disconcerting.

[mrcreamsicles]

[Davesprite is silent for a stretch.]

its happened to me before
not exactly like what happened then
but this place putting thoughts in my head
just a few days in there was all this static that cropped up and fuzzed over everything and made people fade in and out around me
it made me feel like everyone else in norfinbury was fake
this time
after a while
it was hard to remember there was anything else but the eyes
you had a pair of them didnt you

[godsspeed]

Yes. One for myself, one for Jimmy. It seems like they're going to be permanent additions as well, or at least as permanent as any scars are here.

cw: flashback, implied eye trauma and general reference to torture

[mrcreamsicles]

[It makes sense now that he says it. Marks made, scars remain, and he has to touch at his face and remind himself he's fine now, he's fine, there's nothing there, it doesn't even hurt. He snatches his sunglasses off entirely, staring hard into the overwhelming white of the snow in front of him until his eyes start to burn from dryness. Castiel's cell stood a certain ways away from him, and wherever he moved within it there was the sign of the prophet carved into him in double. He can't feel it now. He can't sense any of them, and he tells himself through a second round of staring at the snow that he can't. He can't. He doesn't know how far any of them are; he doesn't know where Castiel is.]

[He's outside. He's safe.]

[He is, above all, getting tired already of his mind trying to say otherwise.]

how the fuck are you just that ok with it
i dont care how durable youre supposed to be
how do you just shrug it off like it was nothing worse than a case of the flu
like
disoriented
what the actual fuck castiel

[The message comes after a delay, and he has to take effort to type it neatly.]

[godsspeed]

[ There's another pause before Castiel replies as well. He's genuinely unsure of what to do here. Davesprite... wants him to be upset? He's clearly upset himself. ]

I don't know what to tell you. It's just how I'm built to be.
Don't misunderstand me, I am afraid of what happened. Things were taken from me that I did not know could be taken. Far worse things were done to the rest of you.
I can make efforts to seem more distressed, if that would help?

[ He considers also pointing out that he's never had the flu before, but decides against it. ]

[mrcreamsicles]

are you kidding me
no

[What would that even accomplish? He feels pathetic enough without having Castiel lie for the sake of his ego. He rubs at his eyes, then settles his sunglasses back down on the bridge of his nose, telling the nerves in his stomach as he does that he's fine. He can still see.]

just forget it
you already answered my main question ill talk to you later

[godsspeed]

Okay.
I will speak to you later, Davesprite.